an ode to the unloved heart.

underneath the weight of all fear and pain, i can no longer say that the human heart is anything less than a miraculous phenomenon. this evening, i lay upon my yoga mat, crying. crying because instead of feeling my heart beat steadily in my chest as inhales expanded my lungs, i counted the times i told myself that this body was something to be destroyed. and in the midst of my excruciating loathing, through a veil of quiet tears being shed in a room of strangers, i realized that this heart of mine deserved none of this hatred i held for the body that embraced it. the body that held it from the day i came into this world, the same body that will hold it for every breath to come. i remembered that only two years ago, this heart struggled to beat just once every two seconds, just to let me live. only one year ago, this heart beat an astounding one hundred and eighty eight times a minute, just to let me rise. and today, this heart allows me to have a yoga practice that i am working towards holding sacred. this heart is a thing of strength. all our hearts are undeniably strong. we are living, breathing, beating; miraculously. this heart deserves nothing but gratitude, and someday, even if now it is simply in theory, love.

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